The 30 Greatest Characters on The Wire, #2 - #1

I took a little weekend vacation and then work really picked up for me, so apologies for the delay on this. If you're still with me, hopefully the below was worth the wait, though I don't think it's all that surprising.

If you have not seen The Wire:

Step 1) Stop reading immediately (though you probably would do this anyway). There are spoilers below, and I will not be held responsible for ruining the greatest show of all time.

Step 2) Watch the entire series on HBO Go. If you do not get HBO, this is a fixable problem.

Step 3) Come back and read all of these wonderful character reviews.

Previous Installments
Characters #30 - #26
Characters #25 - #21
Characters #20 - #16
Characters #15 - #11
Characters #10 - #6
Characters #5 - #3

I must say, I am a little relieved to finally be at the end! This was a lot of words!

2) Russell "Stringer" Bell

Stringer Bell is a parallel to many of the other interesting characters on this list. In some ways, he's the Bunny Colvin of the drug trade, interested only in the desired results and disinterested in the conventions of the pseudo-institution, like pride, violence, and obsession with territory. He's similar to McNulty in that he's the smartest guy in the room, but his superior (Avon) stands in the way of things getting done the way he wants. Like Frank Sobotka, he obtains money by illegal means to unsuccessfully seek political aid in advancing his legitimate interests. And like Marlo Stanfield, he orders several unnecessary murders because of his own paranoia.

That last bit is what makes it difficult for many to even like Stringer as a character. Yet, despite the fact that he orchestrated the murders of D'Angelo and Wallace, those hardcore "gangster" acts are what make Stringer as nuanced and complex a character as he is. He's every bit a businessman that just found himself in the wrong business. The murders of two of the show's most likable characters aren't seen acts of aggression, hatred, or vengeance. They're purely business decisions.

In fact, much of the advice Stringer gives Avon over the course of three seasons is to avoid violence, violence that he believes would represent bad business decisions. He spends most of his time trying to distance himself from "beefing over corners" and achieving legitimate success in things besides heroin. "B&B Enterprises" is ostensibly a line of front businesses for Stringer and Avon to hide their money, but Bell takes their operation just as seriously as Avon's drug empire.

As Stringer's journey continues into the "real" business world, he grows to discover that that it's full of just as many, if not more, dishonest characters as his ring of criminals. The process for developing a condominium complex is full of thieves like Clay Davis and workers that aren't committed to meeting demands and deadlines. Even though the drug trade is filled with violent lawbreakers, there's a sense of duty and loyalty that allows the bosses to get things done. In the citizen's world, Stringer's naive enough to think that people operate honorably simply because they're ostensibly on the right side of the law. It doesn't work that way, and he doesn't have the patience to deal with it and learn, even to the point of asking Slim Charles to place a hit on a state senator.

Stringer's simultaneously too much profit-minded thinker to be a drug lord and too much gangster to cut it in the business community. There seems to be no room in this world for a heroin kingpin that takes macroeconomics classes in plain sight and reads The Wealth of Nations. As easy as it is to hate him for his occasional despicable acts, he's one of the most complex and interesting villains to ever appear on television. His death at the hands of Omar and Brother Mouzone isn't particularly sad, but it's one of the more powerful scenes of the series.

Greatest Character Moment: I'm tempted to re-use the rooftop scene that I used for Avon, but Stringer's most significant moment is the heated confrontation between himself and Avon in which he reveals what really happened to D'Angelo. Apparently he takes exception to his longtime partner and friend suggesting he's not hard enough for 'the game'.

1) Omar Little

The Wire is a show that is widely praised for its realism. In that sense, it's a bit odd that its best character is the one that appears to be larger than life. As a stick-up boy that manages to make a living robbing drug dealers and roaming the streets of Baltimore with a sawed-off shotgun while making a horror tune out of The Farmer in the Dell, there's some superhero elements to Omar that don't resonate as down-to-earth. That he's able to survive a "day at a time, I suppose" in this occupation and get dealers to dump their stash simply by approaching a house (with his back turned, no less!) or walking down the street in a bathrobe is nothing short of crazy.

Yet, the writing of Omar's character is so compelling that we can forgive him for being part Robin Hood, or occasionally pulling off "some Spider-man shit". The Wire is all about convoluted characters with moral gray areas, and Omar might be the most complex of them all. He's known for his honesty and a lack of need for deception, yet his finest moment came when lying under oath in a courtroom. He steals for a living, yet doesn't seem motivated or consumed by greed. He sincerely promises Bunk to stop killing, but compromises that when Butchie is murdered and returns to Baltimore to avenge him. 

And of course, there's Omar's infamous "code" of not putting his gun on a citizen, which he adheres to throughout. He only kills characters the audience isn't meant to be enamored with, such as Stinkum, Stringer, and Savino, so his code and actions seem righteous, even though he's effectively still just murdering people. Bunk, in particular, notices the effect Omar's image and street presence have on children, as he witnesses several idolizing him and pretending to be him while at play. That comes back to bite Omar in the end, as Kenard, one of the kids who looked up to Omar as a true badass in Season Three, winds up shooting and killing him years later in Season Five. While Omar may have had a code, it's pretty clear that Kenard does not. Bunk was right in the end -- even if Omar can justify what he does, there's a ripple effect that he doesn't fully consider.

I'd be doing a disservice if I didn't add that Michael K. Williams' performance is stellar. The rumor is that Omar was meant to be killed off in Season One, but Williams made the character so interesting that he had to survive and remain a significant part of the show. His voice is excellent for the role and his delivery of witty one-liners is always perfectly timed.

In a world where even some of the most powerful characters are inhibited by corrupt people or systems, Omar exists free of any sort of boundaries, which allows him to think and act for himself at all times. He's an antihero whose lack of rules defy the rest of the show's universe, and a charismatic gunman with a penchant for danger and Honey Nut Cheerios. There has never been, nor will there ever be another character like Omar on television. If Simon was always determined to kill him off, we should all count ourselves lucky that he waited so long to do so.

Greatest Character Moment: Though Omar is such a great character, this is a really, really easy call. His total owning of Maurice Levy in the courtroom near the end of Bird's trial is Omar's most iconic moment and an obvious top-three scene of the entire series. If you ask me, it's number-one.

The 30 Greatest Characters on The Wire, #5 - #3

If you have not seen The Wire:

Step 1) Stop reading immediately (though you probably would do this anyway). There are spoilers below, and I will not be held responsible for ruining the greatest show of all time.

Step 2) Watch the entire series on HBO Go. If you do not get HBO, this is a fixable problem.

Step 3) Come back and read all of the character reviews I've completed so far.

Previous Installments
Characters #30 - #26
Characters #25 - #21
Characters #20 - #16
Characters #15 - #11
Characters #10 - #6

5) Reginald "Bubbles" Cousins

The Wire didn't attract all that much attention during its run; it's certainly no Game of Thrones in that regard. If I had to pick one person deserving of some kind of hardware for acting on this show, it would've been Andre Royo for his portrayal of Bubbles.

The Wire largely focuses on two groups of people: those that move drugs and the police that try to bring down people who move drugs. As a person who actually uses heroin, Bubbles adds a new dimension to The Wire, even though he's typically not driving the primary action of the series. Sure, he helps the police as an informant with a tip here or there, but his story is mostly its own animal.

Bubbles is representative of the effect that the drug trade has on the community from an addiction perspective. We don't know much about his background, but we learn enough to understand that this once was an intelligent (his vocabulary is insanely good for a street bum) and caring man whose life was completely ripped to shreds by heroin. Now, he's living scam-to-scam, aside from collecting the occasional Andrew Jackson from detectives for identifying criminals. He tries to get clean a few times during the show's run, but doesn't succeed in doing so until late in the series.

Bubbles' most tragic storyline is that from Season Four, in which he mentors a teenager named Sherrod and tries to set him on a good life path. It's a struggle coming from a man in Bubbles' position, but he generally proves to be a good influence. Unfortunately, a thug begins repeatedly beating up and robbing Bubbles. Bubbles goes to the police for help, but one Herc screw-up later, he tries to poison his tormentor and winds up accidentally allowing Sherrod to fatally shoot the tainted drugs instead. The result is Bubbles unsuccessfully attempting suicide in one of Landsman's interrogation rooms.

Over a year later, Bubbles is clean and working honestly selling newspapers. His sister lets him stay in her basement, but does not allow him to partake in any aspect of her life. All the while, he's grief-stricken for what he let happen to Sherrod and gradually becomes able to open up about the experience, both in his Narcotics Anonymous meetings and in an article published about him in The Baltimore Sun. In the last episode of the series, he's seen having dinner with his sister and her child. It's a simple and ordinary scene, but given everything Bubbles has been through, it's nothing short of a triumphant moment.

Greatest Character Moment: Bubbles speaking out about what happened to Sherrod at one of his Narcotics Anonymous meetings.

4) Frank Sobotka

We only get to spend one season with Frank Sobotka, but damn, the man made an impression.

Frank is a secretary treasurer for the International Brotherhood of Stevedores. He has great passion for the union and his line of work, but unfortunately, the shipping industry of Baltimore is in decline. Furthering the threat of deindustrialization is a film Frank watches -- which Frank later calls a "horror movie" -- with some of his colleagues suggesting robots could automate the union's work, making many of their jobs obsolete.

Preserving the future of the stevedores union is what drives nearly everything Frank does. He tries to lobby politicians to re-open a grain pier and deepen the canal to boost shipping traffic. To do this, he has to get funding, which he obtains from the Greek's organization in exchange for smuggling various things into Baltimore. In addition to bribing politicians, Frank's able to support his union brethren when they run low on work. This is an important point -- though he's operating on the wrong side of the law, everything he earns goes towards supporting the men he works with.

Unfortunately for Frank, he flashed his cash a little bit too much, and he wound up attracting police attention (from a damn pissing match with Major Stan Valchek over a stained glass window in a church, of all things). The smuggling investigation became tied together with the murder of thirteen women, found dead in one of the Greek's shipping containers in Frank's port. This made Frank sick to his stomach and almost resulted in him withdrawing entirely from the Greek's operation.

Eventually, Frank's police attention scares off the politicians from whom he's seeking support, and all hope of improving the port's situation is lost, not to mention the money put towards that effort. Frank's reaction to that is one of his best scenes. It largely parallels the issues with other institutions shown throughout the series.

Of course, lost in all of Frank's obsession about his profession is the fact that he has a son, Ziggy, who's heading down a bad path and getting himself in all sorts of trouble. If there's one place we can find fault with Frank on a moral level, it's his negligence in his relationship with Ziggy. Once Ziggy snaps and kills one of the Greeks, Frank essentially gets himself killed trying to save him rather than continuing to collaborate with the police.  It's easy to see that in the corrupt landscape of Baltimore, he's pretty much doomed from the start with regards to his efforts to save the union, but his and his son's lives could have been saved (the former literally, and the latter figuratively) had he been a more attentive father.

Greatest Character Moment: When Bunk and Beadie show up to deliver a grand jury summons to Johnny Fifty and others at the docks, Frank has an impassioned rant waiting for them. One thing I love about this scene is that Bunk, who doesn't know Frank, could easily just see everything Frank says as posturing, but it's clear to the viewer that Frank's defiance is borne out of genuine disgust at why the police are even there.

3) Preston "Bodie" Broadus

Normally, when a TV show makes the viewer do a complete-180 on how they feel about a character, it usually takes some big moment in which a previously repulsive person makes a single important decision to do the right thing in a key situation. This is not a normal TV show.

Bodie is introduced in Season One as a member of D'Angelo's crew in the pit. He's mostly concerned with appearing tough and pleasing his superiors. You can tell simply from watching the chess scene in the third episode that Bodie has designs on advancing his career pretty far within the Barksdale Organization. He's cool with using violence to enforce the rules of 'the game' and is visibly puzzled when D'Angelo offers a more sensitive or forgiving take on a situation. Bodie then co-commits (albeit slightly hesitantly) the most heinous act of Season One, the murder of Wallace. The kid couldn't be any more despicable (unless he was Poot).

So when this punk gets killed at the end of Season Four, how did it somehow become sadder than the aforementioned murder?

One of the things that becomes more apparent with each re-watch of The Wire is that the show is great at playing the long game. Even when Bodie is at his worst early in the series, he has some entertaining, often lighthearted banter with Herc and Carver. That keeps up during Seasons Two and Three, even though Bodie is not a heavy focus of the storylines. In addition to Simon giving us little moments that make Bodie more familiar and approachable, he becomes a notably sharper mind as he gains experience. It's clear he learned plenty from his time under D'Angelo, and his citing of "contrapment" (entrapment) to beat an arrest in Season Three even impressed McNulty, king shit of all that is brilliant and clever. Bodie's never front-and-center, but the viewer's always aware of what he's up to and how he's doing. The abominable murder of Wallace slowly begins to feel more and more like a blip.

With all that buildup in place, Bodie takes on a greater role in Season Four. He's running his own corner and ultimately is forced to work under Marlo Stanfield. A growing, righteous hatred of Marlo begins to brew within Bodie over the course of the season as the former's ruthless, baseless killings get out of control. McNulty, who's charged with patrolling the western district, has developed a casual rapport with Bodie by this time (including a pretty great scene in a sandwich shop) and tries to get Bodie to flip on Marlo. Unfortunately, one of Marlo's guys sees the two together, which effectively seals Bodie's fate. He goes out in a matter befitting his character, bravely defending his corner rather than accepting a quiet, painless fate in one of the vacants.

Greatest Character Moment: His conversation with McNulty on the park bench, shortly before his death. McNulty looks straight at him and tells him he's a soldier, with utmost sincerity.  It's a powerful moment built upon years of excellent character development.

The 30 Greatest Characters on The Wire, #10 - #6

Apologies for the delay on this. These become trickier to write as we get closer to the top of the list.

If you have not seen The Wire:

Step 1) Stop reading immediately (though you probably would do this anyway). There are spoilers below, and I will not be held responsible for ruining the greatest show of all time.

Step 2) Watch the entire series on HBO Go. If you do not get HBO, this is a fixable problem.

Step 3) Come back and read all of the character reviews I've completed so far.

Previous Installments
Characters #30 - #26
Characters #25 - #21
Characters #20 - #16
Characters #15 - #11

10) "Proposition Joe" Stewart

Proposition Joe is what you'd call a "screen presence". Though he's never really a central character (he has only 216 lines in the entire series, the 33rd-most), a Prop Joe appearance simply demands your attention. He first shows up at the East-West basketball game in Season 1 in a full suit on a hot day, and has a quick retort when Avon Barksdale gets on his case for it. He then manages to hustle the west-side kingpin by bringing in a ringer after the bet on the game is doubled.

Joe is one of the most devious, cunning characters on the series and typically finds a way to stay one step ahead. He's got great quotes, outstanding vocal range, and is likable for his businesslike way of running the east side drug trade. Similar to Stringer Bell, he'd prefer to avoid violence if at all possible and take advantage of his relationship with the Greeks that control the shipments of drugs into Baltimore.

Joe serves as a mentor to Marlo Stanfield during Seasons Four and Five. He teaches Marlo about how to avoid trouble with the law and how to launder money. Unfortunately, he becomes a victim of Marlo's quest for power, as Marlo usurps Joe's connection with the Greeks and does away with him midway through Season Five. It's sad to see Joe go, but chances are if you like a character that's mixed up in the drug trade, David Simon will eventually kill him off.

Greatest Character Moment: Joe's meeting with Sergei and Nick Sobotka in Season Two. Joe's comment about his relatives is probably his best line of the series.

9) Ellis Carver

For much of the first two seasons, Carver is largely in the background and practically indistinguishable from his partner-in-crime (meant fairly literally, and remember, they're police), Thomas "Herc" Hauk. The two are largely in the background of the Barksdale and Sobotka investigations, relegated to minor surveillance work. This convinces them that they're being undervalued in their positions, and that sort of attitude leads them to steal from crime scenes. For the most part, Herc and Carver are uninteresting, bumbling comic relief to the point that where one of my friends texted me in the middle of Season Two, saying that the pair "seriously needed some development".

Of course, The Wire had plans for Herc and Carver.

Herc continues down a path of incompetence, severely damaging the lives of Bubbles, Randy, and others in the process and then ultimately working for the devil himself, Maurice Levy. Carver, on the other hand, probably develops more than any other character over the course of The Wire's five seasons. He gets an excellent mentor in Bunny Colvin in Season Three, who tells him that better police work will get done if you establish relationships with people on the street than if you're a total hard-ass.

Carver takes that advice to heart and eventually becomes familiar with various street characters in the drug trade, most notably Bodie Broadus. He becomes a far more effective and righteous officer over the final three seasons, with probably the biggest break from his former self being shown in Season Five. Officer Colicchio, a friend of Herc and Carver's, is involved with assault on a teacher. The old Carver probably would have let him off the hook somehow. Instead, Carver doesn't stand for it and disciplines his friend, despite pleadings from Herc. He accepts his post as a leader and realizes that his duty rises above his friendships. In the series finale, Daniels oversees his promotion to lieutenant, saying "I'm glad I got to do this at least." It's a great moment for both characters.

Carver's best, and unfortunately, saddest storyline comes from his relationship with Randy Wagstaff in Season Four. Daniels, seeing the maturation of Carver, sees fit to entrust Randy to his care when it's clear Randy has information regarding a murder. When Randy's home is attacked and his foster mother is put in critical condition, Carver does absolutely everything he can to keep Randy out of a group home, even offering to become his guardian. Though Carver fails -- and even though it's absolutely gut-wrenching when he does -- his efforts show just how far he's come as an officer, and as a man.

Greatest Character Moment: I linked to this scene in my section on Randy, but seeing Carver's reaction at the end of the scene in which he drops off Randy at the group home is one of the most emotional events of the entire series.

8) Howard "Bunny" Colvin

Bunny is a veteran of the Baltimore Police Department and seems to be more in touch with the true purpose of police work -- public safety and community support -- than any other cop on the show. He's disgusted with the stat-juking and meaningless hits on minor drug dealers that's stressed relentlessly throughout the BPD. With a major's pension on the horizon and a wealth of experience, he feels he's ready to start implementing outside-the-box solutions to effect positive change, Commissioner Burrell's orders be damned.

Colvin's concept of free zones in the city ("Hamsterdam") where drug dealing and use are tolerated proves to be extremely successful in the western district. By concentrating non-violent drug activity in select places, violence in residential areas drops significantly. This pleases his superiors, but also arouses suspicion. When the idea is leaked to the press, it's not received all that well and political higher-ups can't support it. The mayor and Burrell both need a "fall guy" to spin the story right, and all the weight falls upon Colvin, whose pension is severely cut upon his retirement from the force.

In Season Four, we again see Colvin putting his creative ideas to use with school children. He separates the troublemakers ("corner kids") from the rest of the class and attempts to teach them in a different way, in hopes that some can be reached. By removing the disruptive kids, the strategy pays dividends on the normal classes and a few corner kids respond well to the special classes, particularly Namond Brice. Colvin ultimately adopts Namond, convincing his father Wee Bey that it's for the best. However, the school system shuts down his program, citing that they are under too much scrutiny from budget constraints.

Both of Colvin's ideas would be revolutionary in their respective spheres, and through him The Wire showcases the potential benefits of programs that aim towards real results, rather than numbers that can be spun to please a person's superiors or electorate. Bunny is an extremely selfless character who just wants to see things change for the better. The system prevents him from making a long-term difference, but at least he was able to save Namond.

Greatest Character Moment: The first time we realize Colvin is a visionary, his paper bag speech in the wake of Officer Dozerman's shooting.

7) Jimmy McNulty

David Simon insists that there is no "main character" on The Wire and that the city of Baltimore is the central character.  However, if there was a central character, it would be McNulty, who has more than double the amount of lines of any other character on the series. He's the first person we meet, and it's been suggested that in a show as difficult to follow as The Wire, it was necessary to have a relatable character, someone we've seen before. McNulty is a womanizing, alcoholic cop with contempt for authority and the brilliance and determination to get the job done. Does this sound unique? Of course not. It sounds like the main character of a shitty crime show on USA or something. It's someone we've all seen before on TV.

Yet, despite being a tired archetype of the lead TV cop, McNulty is developed with such care and nuance that it's hard to consider him anything other than an amazing character. He's sometimes the beating heart of the show and sometimes he's a source of much-needed humor. Though he wants to crack tough cases and do whatever he can to get the job done, it's often questionable whether McNulty is even a good guy or what he even cares about. Is he trying to feed his ego, or does he actually want to make the city a better place?

The answer definitely lies somewhere in between. Stringer Bell is something of a white whale for McNulty (with the odd twist that Bell is the one who gets killed), and you get the sense that McNulty wants the trophy more than he wants Bell off the streets. On the other side of the coin, he takes genuine interest in Bodie Broadus and D'Angelo Barksdale, with the former's death affecting him to the point of abandoning his way of life at his happiest.

McNulty's job always gets in the way of his personal life and it's not hard to see how it dismantled his previous marriage and made him a less-than-ideal father (we're being generous here!). When he took a less-stressful patrol post in the western district, he was able to relax and enjoy a relationship with Beadie Russell, but McNulty had a hard time saving himself from himself after Bodie's death, and he went right back to his old habits in Season Five. Beadie tries to convince McNulty near the end of the series that his career pursuits won't bring him the happiness that a family would.  It's open-ended whether McNulty takes that to heart once he's banned from real police work, but the implication is that things work out.

Greatest Character Moment: McNulty had no shortage of outstanding scenes, but if I had to pick just one, it would be the moment when the characteristics of the serial killer he invented were read to him near the end of Season Five.

6) D'Angelo Barksdale

D'Angelo is one of the first characters we meet in the series. We first see him being acquitted at a murder trial; upon his release, he takes over the Barksdale operations at 'The Pit', working closely with Wallace, Bodie Broadus, and Poot Carr. He proves to not only be an effective manager, but also a person well in-tune with how the world works. His discussion with his subordinates about chicken nuggets and the scene in which he teaches Bodie and Wallace how to play chess are two of the best in the first season, with the latter serving as an effective analogy of the drug trade that Bodie in particular takes to heart.

D'Angelo's dissatisfaction with the level of violence in the drug trade builds gradually over the course of Season One. He's sickened by the murder of the witness from his trial and wants nothing to do with issuing beat-downs to thieves, both inside and outside his organization. Oddly, his philosophy is perfectly aligned with that of Stringer Bell. Both understand that keeping the violence down will keep the police away. Though Bell's motivation is purely business, D'Angelo is truly hurt by the plight of others and it's clear he's a decent person at heart. Stringer sees this as a weakness in D'Angelo and a rift develops between the two due to the former's constant fear that D'Angelo will flip on the organization.

That ultimately culminates in Stringer having D'Angelo murdered in prison during Season Two, just after D'Angelo fittingly provides an interpretation of The Great Gatsby that boils down to a man not being able to escape his past. Even though D'Angelo splits from his uncle Avon and wants nothing more to do with their organization, "It don't matter that some fool say he different".

This review would not be complete without a nod to Larry Gilliard Jr.'s outstanding performance. D'Angelo rarely needs to speak to get you to feel anything, he can say it all with those big, often sad eyes. Disgust, anger, fear, -- hell, I bet he could have sold "joy" to you pretty damn well if his character ever experienced it -- are all conveyed perfectly with a simple facial expression. His death was one of the saddest of the series, and D'Angelo was certainly missed for the last three-plus seasons of the show.

Greatest Character Moment: Arguably the best scene of Season One, D'Angelo slowly comes to realize that McNulty was telling the truth about what happened to Wallace in this conversation with Stringer Bell.

The Pat Hatter's Adventures with General Dentistry

This is going to be a quick break from my ongoing The Wire character rankings, just to get into something that's been on my mind.

I'm someone who could probably considered "overly paranoid" about my teeth. As far as their quality, they're generally fine. I won't be showing up in any Colgate commercials anytime soon, but they aren't really a detriment to the way I look either.  I am, however, concerned, that I've been growing more and more apprehensive about biting into hard foods (thicker baby carrots, apples, even some hard cookies, etc). As a kid, I used to actually bite through uncooked spaghetti and popcorn kernels, so I am definitely sensitive to this change. Does this happen to everyone else my age? I don't know.

Anyway, I've had my fair share of cavities and issues over the years. I grind my teeth relentlessly and have to wear a guard at night, and even had one of my teeth knocked out at age 12, so I've had a root canal done and redone. A couple have been chipped and repaired. Basically, even though there's been no irreparable disasters, I will often find out something is wrong after a visit to a dentist.

Of course, that often depends on which dentist I go to see.

Growing up, my parents had a lot of trust in our pediatric dentist, and I shared that trust. I saw him until I actually got out of college and started working, where I picked my own dentist for the first time (using what else, Google). It mostly went okay, but I clashed a bit with them when I went in for a cleaning and one of the two dentists wasn't in. The most important part of a cleaning for me is getting the "A-OK" from an actual licensed dentist, and I wasn't about to leave without getting that experience. It kinda rubbed me the wrong way that they didn't understand my concern.

I moved a few miles away and tried a new dentist, who instantly diagnosed me with six cavities (most of which, to my understanding, were minor). This made me furious. I sent sort some degree of a "WTF" e-mail to my apparently indifferent prior dentist's office, because there's no way all those cropped up in the six months since my prior cleaning. They responded defending their work, but I was convinced that I'd moved on, and for the better.

Then again, I re-thought things over the course of the next two years. My sister used this dentist as well, and we began to feel over time that he saw his patients as walking dollar signs. We felt he "over-treated" based on some basic mantra of "we're all about tooth preservation, here".  I ultimately moved on from Pricey McGougeface (the name really should have tipped me off) because I wanted to make sure that everything he was doing was actually necessary. The next guy I tried seemed good, but I shortly moved far away.

That brings me to my current predicament. I have seen my current dentist, Smiley McBlithe (lots of Irish dentists in this world, there are) three times for cleanings and each time he's told me that absolutely nothing is wrong. That, to me, seemed batshit bonkers, because I can't remember that ever happening before, and it's not like I take better care of my teeth now than I used to. After the third such visit, I decided it was time for a second opinion.

For this, I went to a small dental office that looked like it was basically just part of a residential apartment building. The guy, Energizer Pushyfingers, was a younger dentist but seemed to have a wealth of knowledge. He gave me a complete exam that lasted an hour and a half (doesn't this guy have anything else to do?).  He recommended:

• Two crowns
• Two fillings
• Seeing a specialist regarding an apparent extra tooth under my gums
• Consulting an orthodontist about completely re-working my bite
• Re-thinking my life as I know it

What the hell?

How can two different qualified dentists recommend such vastly different things?  What would you do here?

Me? Welp, time for a third opinion.

The third guy, Rushy Fast-Talker (went along with his wife on hyphenating, very progressive), had blocked off a half hour to speak to me. I discovered the appointment was scheduled as a "meet and greet" when I got there, but to my relief, the guy did actually spend about 5-10 minutes looking at my teeth. Though he didn't seem to have a wealth of time to talk through things with me, he was appalled by the second dentist's diagnosis and recommended mayyyyybbbee one filling but overall it was more of a "wait and see" situation.

He then asked me some questions about the second guy.

Rushy; "Was this guy some sort of corporate dentist?
Me: "I'm not sure."
Rushy: "Well, was he a younger guy?"
Me: "Yeah" Why in the world does that matter?
Rushy: "Well, what was the name of the business? Did the guy have his name on it?"
Me: "Uhhhh....." Come to think of it, it wasn't called 'Pushyfingers Family Dental Care'
Rushy: "See, that's what I thought. These corporate dentists have to meet certain quotas, so they tend to prescribe treatment when the situation doesn't necessitate it."

Wait wait wait....what???

Okay, I'm not totally naive. I understand there are dentists out there in the world, like McGougeface (whose name WAS on the business), that are trying to terrify me into thinking my teeth are dying and are trying to rook me for all me and my insurance are worth, but now you're telling me there's gigantic networks of offices across the country for which treating people like that is corporate policy????

That news is most unsettling. (Is it news? Did everyone else know about this and just wasn't telling me?) Can't we just have universal standards of dental treatment where everyone agrees on what's a problem and what isn't?

Yeah, I understand why that's impossible. The unfortunate truth is that we must choose who we trust to take care of our teeth. The problem is that we're woefully under-qualified to do so.

The 30 Greatest Characters on The Wire, #15 - #11

If you have not seen The Wire:

Step 1) Stop reading immediately (though you probably would do this anyway). There are spoilers below, and I will not be held responsible for ruining the greatest show of all time.

Step 2) Watch the entire series on HBO Go. If you do not get HBO, this is a fixable problem.

Step 3) Come back and read all of the character reviews I've completed so far.  If you enjoy good TV, you will binge all 60 episodes and finish the show before I finish the character rankings.

Step 4) Find a new job. In retrospect, that was a bad decision watching a full season of The Wire every day for five days because your employer expected you to show up to work. You need a means to pay for HBO so that you can watch all the episodes again.

Previous Installments
Characters #20 - #16
Characters #25 - #21
Characters #30 - #26

15) Michael Lee

Like some other kids on the show, Michael's home life is a disaster. His mother is a lazy drug addict and his little brother's father is sexually abusive. As a result, Michael is often in his own world, greatly distrustful of others and quietly refusing to do things. One such refusal involved an offer of no-strings-attached cash from Marlo Stanfield, which got the attention of Marlo and his lieutenants.

While the general aloofness makes sense, it makes it initially tougher to warm up to Michael as a character. Throughout Season Four, though, Michael gives us plenty of reason to like him, He's basically a father to his brother, Bug, and fiercely fights people that pick on his friends. Unfortunately, Michael slips away from his friends in the later parts of the season, as he turns to the Stanfield crew for help with getting rid of Bug's father. He eventually becomes one of Marlo's lieutenants and a stone cold killer, carrying nothing with him from his past life besides Dukie and Bug.

Throughout much of Season Five, Michael questions a lot of the violence carried out by Marlo and his crew, as it often seems needless. He arouses mild suspicion in Marlo, which leads to Snoop attempting to kill him. Michael figures out the plot and turns the tables on Snoop, followed by going into hiding. It's implied in the last episode of the series that he effectively becomes the new Omar. It's pretty fitting.

Greatest Character Moment: Of course, going into hiding means saying good-bye to Dukie, and no scene better exemplifies how Michael has lost any sense of his former self.

14) Randy Wagstaff

The first thing that struck me about Randy was his last name, Wagstaff. It's the same as that of Cheese, and although it's never revealed on the show, the implication (confirmed by Simon) is that Cheese is Randy's dad.

Randy's just such an easy kid to like. He gets himself into trouble sometimes, but it's Bart Simpson trouble and not shoot-'em-up-and-deal-drugs trouble. He runs a crafty candy-selling business at school and is good for creative pranks, but for the most part, Randy is uneasy about anything that breaks serious rules. Unfortunately, he finds himself as a relatively innocent accessory to a murder and an alleged rape. This leads to him divulging more information than many would like to school faculty and police officers, and he winds up getting a reputation as a snitch, in large part thanks to Marlo Stanfield.

Snitches don't fare very well on the streets of Baltimore, and what starts as ridicule and intimidation becomes more violent when gang members destroy his foster home with molotov cocktails, severely incapacitating his foster mother and leaving him with no one to look after him. Sargeant Ellis Carver tries his best to help him but he's ultimately sent back to live at a group home, where his snitch reputation gets him beaten up by older kids. We see Randy one last time in Season Five, refusing to give information to police and becoming one of the very thugs that used to prey on him.

Randy's demise is tough to watch because he came from probably the best living situation of the four kids and the system got to him anyway. Through Randy, we see how a nice, well-meaning kid with some support can still get swallowed up by the streets of Baltimore. You feel like Randy could grow up to be a person who really puts his mind to something constructive and be successful. Instead, that future goes to the less-deserving Namond.

Greatest Character Moment: Carver ultimately fails to protect Randy, and Randy uncharacteristically lashes out at him in a pretty tough scene to watch. Later, in an even tougher scene to stomach, Carver drops him off at the group home and Randy thanks him for his efforts, telling him that he doesn't need to feel bad because he tried his best. It's one last reminder of how awesome Randy is before he's lost forever.

13) Roland "Prez" Pryzbylewski

Prez is introduced to us as a real screw-up of a cop, a guy who makes the wrong, often violent decision when pressed into difficult situations. He pistol-whips a teenager, punches his father-in-law Valchek when the latter berates him in front of his peers, and mistakenly shoots and kills one of his fellow officers when pressed into street duty in Season Three. He proves to be useful and intelligent in his behind-the-scenes work, but it's clear he's not really cut out to be a cop.

After that last horrible mistake, Prez chooses to leave the force and becomes a teacher. He seems to want to do this job for the same reason that most probably do -- it gives you a chance to help kids and come up with your own creative way to help others learn. However, Prez meets unexpected difficulties pretty early in his tenure, and it's far worse than the usual complaints of heavy hours, disinterested children, and being underappreciated. His class is a zoo that he's unable to control, and one student bloodily assaults another with a boxcutter.

Prez eventually gets his students to take an interest in math by teaching it to them in terms of gambling. His creative methods seem to work, but much like the police department, the school's leadership is just interested in statistics (in the form of test scores), and they try to force him to abandon his successful tactics and teach students how to pass a standardized test. Prez resists this and ultimately gains the respect of his students by the end of the year.

During the season, Prez does his best to care for Dukie, whose home situation is terrible, and Randy, who is in danger due to his alleged snitching. Despite Prez's successes, he's able to save neither. One person's efforts can get some positive results in this world, but it's often not enough.

Greatest Character Moment: I can't find it on YouTube! My favorite moment for Prez is in the final episode in Season Four, when one of his students makes a disruptive comment, but the other kids don't laugh. It's a big success for Prez, as he's finally in control. I want to give you something though, so here's Prez delivering his famous "No one wins. One side just loses more slowly" quote.

12) Lester Freamon

The man they call Cool Lester Smooth. He initially appears to be a relatively useless detective, similar to the other old guys Daniels got stuck with in Season One, but Freamon quickly proves his aptitude by engineering multiple key breakthroughs in the Barksdale case. He becomes one of, if not the most respected detectives in what would eventually become the Major Crimes Unit and is largely responsible for cracking the biggest mysteries in four of the five seasons of the show.

Freamon is referred to by Bunk as "natural po-lice" very early in the show's run and there really couldn't be a better description of him. It seemed that his long tenure in the pawn shop unit really killed his love of his job, but once given an opportunity to do real work again, the passion came back and he's consistently the most dedicated and focused detective we spend time with. He's typically the voice of reason in the detail and is strong as a leader; my favorite example of this is when he rallied the detectives to do their important work in the wake of Kima getting shot.

Not too bad for the old hump that sits around making dollhouse furniture.

Greatest Character Moment: Lester clashes with McNulty a good deal in Season Three and I'd like to think that this discussion he has with him is responsible for McNulty switching to a less-stressful patrol position in the western district. The clever shot of the picture of Beadie at the end of the scene somewhat confirms that. For a guy who isn't worth the skin off of Lester's knuckles (junior), Lester sure does a lot to help Jimmy.

11) William 'Bunk' Moreland

Bunk is a witty, intelligent homicide detective and provides a lot of comic relief over the course of the series. He's a veritable quote machine and a man with a moral code (albeit one that includes plenty of drunken infidelity). Bunk typically toes the company line and is well-respected by his superiors, particularly Landsman. There's no underlying message from Simon or anything about Bunk that makes you get all the feels. He's just awesome to watch and entertaining pretty much whenever he's on-screen, partly because Wendell Pierce is fantastic and partly because he's fed some excellent lines by the writers.

Bunk most often shows his true colors in his relationships with Jimmy McNulty and Omar. When McNulty goes over the line in Season Five inventing a fake serial killer to get funding for the police department, Bunk refuses to support him, understanding that there's a limit on the means one should go through to do good police work. He also successfully gets through to Omar about the immorality of his actions, despite Omar's "code" of only attacking people who are wrapped up in 'the game'. Bunk would be the best character on any number of shows, but this is The Wire.

Greatest Character Moment: There's a gigantic laundry list of quotes to choose from, but his best (and most important) scene is his confronting of Omar in Season Three about his ways.

The 30 Greatest Characters on 'The Wire', #20 - #16

If you have not seen The Wire:

Step 1) Stop reading immediately (though you probably would do this anyway). There are spoilers below, and I will not be held responsible for ruining the greatest show of all time.

Step 2) Watch the entire series on HBO Go. If you do not get HBO, this is a fixable problem.

Step 3) Come back and read all of the character reviews I've completed so far.  If you enjoy good TV, you will binge all 60 episodes and finish the show before I finish the character rankings.

Step 4) Find a new job. In retrospect, that was a bad decision watching a full season of The Wire every day for five days because your employer expected you to show up to work. You need a means to pay for HBO so that you can watch all the episodes again.

Previous Installments
Characters #25 - #21
Characters #30 - #26

20) Felicia 'Snoop' Pearson

Marlo's terrifying third-in-command, while portrayed as a dangerous enforcer, provides some much needed comic relief to the Stanfield crew.  Don't get me wrong, she's extremely vicious and merciless, but tends to get more animated and vocal than the more soft-spoken Chris and Marlo. Snoop plays a lesser role in Season Three, but we see Marlo and Chris grooming her to become added muscle for their expanding enterprise, a role she takes on in Seasons Four and Five

Everyone's favorite fact about Snoop is that she's played by an actress by the same name. Felicia Pearson (the actress) was actually a Baltimore drug dealer that Michael K. Williams (the actor who portrayed Omar) encountered at a club one night; Williams then encouraged her to try out for the show.

Greatest Character Moment: I was pretty tempted to put Snoop below Ziggy and Wallace on this list, but she's responsible for one of my three favorite scenes in the entire series, in which she purchases the Cadillac of nail guns ("He mean Lexus, but he ain't know it.") from a hardware store worker at the beginning of Season Four.

19) Avon Barksdale

Avon is portrayed as a traditional drug lord, concerned with territory, respect, and family ties. He's most interesting in Seasons Two and Three, as his long-standing friendship with Stringer Bell starts to unravel over disagreements in how to run their business. While Stringer is most concerned with profiting from the business, which occasionally requires keeping the peace to avoid police attention, Avon is too proud to let other gangs' infringe on his territory without consequence.

When one sees how much Stringer is doing to grow the operation while Avon is in prison, it seems petty for Avon to return and demand that his crew get involved in violent conflict over a few measly corners. He seems like the pigheaded one, but he was right all along about Stringer's inability to make it beyond the drug trade. Plus, once the two had turned on each other, Stringer went to the police, but Avon went for the kill. You couldn't call either character "moral", but Avon's love of family and his generosity towards Cutty sure made him more likable, even if he was the less compelling character of the two.

Greatest Character Moment: His scene on the rooftop with Stringer in which the two reminisce about their past as two people who seem like the best of friends, but in reality have already turned on one another.

18) Duquan "Dukie" Weems

For a show that's so enjoyable to watch, The Wire sure throws a lot of unfathomably sad characters out there. Dukie is probably the saddest of them all.

When we first meet him, Dukie lives in a house with drug addicts and no running water. He gets made fun of by his peers because he wears dirty clothes and smells bad. Even his time with his three friends (Namond, Michael, and Randy) isn't all that great because Namond is constantly picking on him. From the outset, it feels like there's pretty much no way that this is going to end well.

Things start to improve a bit for Dukie when his eighth grade teacher, Prez, takes an interest in him. He allows Dukie to shower at school and provides him with clean clothes, while also encouraging him to build up his computer skills. As it turns out, Dukie has quite the aptitude for learning; before the end of Season Four, the schools promote him to the ninth grade. He's a genuinely nice kid that treats everyone he encounters with respect, and it was good to see him succeed, even if that was short-lived.

I think David Simon wanted to show what could be made possible through a little kindness and compassion towards a kid like Dukie. Unfortunately, the larger theme of The Wire is that everyone is trapped in their own little unjust system, and Dukie can't escape. The only person who can support him is Michael, and Michael only has the means to do so because he's been swept up in -- you guessed it -- the drug trade. When Michael's actions force him to go on the run, no one is left to support Dukie. Dukie then goes to live with a heroine addict and swindles money from Prez. Just like that, Baltimore has created another Bubbles.

Greatest Character Moment: An incident in Prez's classroom results in one girl slashing another in the face with a boxcutter. While everyone scram bles to get help for the injured girl, the assailant sits on the floor in shock. Dukie quietly slides over to her and gives her his small electric fan to help calm her down. It's just a nice moment that helps show what a kind heart the kid has.

17) Dennis "Cutty" Wise

There's success stories on The Wire, but they're few and far between. With Cutty, David Simon gave us someone we could genuinely feel good about. Upon being released from a long prison sentence, the former drug gang enforcer finds himself entangled with the Barksdale organization. He shows that he still has the intelligence and general acumen for the job, but he walks away from 'the game' when he realizes that killing is no longer in him,

In the later stages of Season Three, Cutty tries to open a boxing gym. The show does a good job of showing just how much bureaucratic BS one has to walk through just to start up something like that for the good of the community. It stops short of making Cutty just another chapter in the "everyone is trapped" novel, however; a deacon's political connections ultimately help him to get the gym off the ground. Cutty is shown to be a good mentor, coach, and friend to the kids of the community. He has mixed results with getting them to make good choices in their own lives, but it's at least nice to watch someone trying.

Greatest Character Moment: Cutty telling Avon that he can't be part of 'the game' anymore and walking out with Avon's respect is his best moment.

16) Thomas Carcetti

Carcetti shows up for the first time in Season Three as a politician who seems genuinely interested in making a positive difference in Baltimore. He's portrayed in stark contrast to others in the political realm who are more interested in their own career interests than doing anything to help the city. Carcetti decides to run for mayor and does so by promising things that are believable and earnest and he ultimately succeeds, even though he wakes up white in a city that ain't.

Yet, much like the very characters he despises, Carcetti's attention wavers from helping Baltimore in his capacity as mayor because he's more interested in making a run at becoming governor of Maryland. He gets a shock early in his mayoral tenure when he is informed that the school system is severely in debt. The governor of Maryland offers to bail him out, but only on the condition that Carcetti make the bailout extremely public, which would hurt his gubernatorial campaign. Carcetti refuses the money, and in Season Five, is shown to place an emphasis on the very statistic-based evaluation of police work that he originally opposed.

There's an argument that Carcetti's story is one of the most horrifying on The Wire, even though it doesn't involve any murder, violence, or theft. Carcetti bursts onto the scene as someone hell-bent on solving 'the problem'; once empowered, it doesn't take very long before he becomes a big part of it.

Greatest Character Moment; In the Series Finale, Carcetti finds out the truth about Baltimore's serial killer, and his reaction is stupendous.

The 30 Greatest Characters on 'The Wire', #25 - #21

I'm going to continue to post this at the top of these, just to warn people who may navigate here without having seen it on earlier posts. Sorry for any annoyance.

If you have not seen The Wire:

Step 1) Stop reading immediately (though you probably would do this anyway). There are spoilers below, and I will not be held responsible for ruining the greatest show of all time.

Step 2) Watch the entire series on HBO Go. If you do not get HBO, this is a fixable problem.

Step 3) Come back and read all of the character reviews I've completed so far.  If you enjoy good TV, you will binge all 60 episodes and finish the show before I finish the character rankings.

Step 4) Find a new job. In retrospect, that was a bad decision watching a full season of The Wire every day for five days because your employer expected you to show up to work. You need a means to pay for HBO so that you can watch all the episodes again.

On with the rankings!

25) Brother Mouzone

Brother Mouzone doesn't get a lot of screen time in the series, but he's the linchpin of several great scenes during Season Two and Season Three. Originally brought to Baltimore by Avon Barksdale to protect his operation, Mouzone doesn't have the appearance of muscle for a drug gang, what with the glasses, suit, and bowtie and all. However, it's clear from his first appearance that he means business when he shoots Proposition Joe's lieutenant Cheese with a quick draw.

Shooting Cheese alone makes Mouzone nearly satisfying enough to merit consideration on this list (apologies, Slim Charles), but there's more to him than that. Mouzone speaks eloquently and is very well-read. He commands enough respect to keep rival gangs away just by quietly sitting on a bench, perusing The Economist or whatever. Some feel that this makes Mouzone sort of a caricature of sorts, a gimmick not unlike Clay Davis compulsively blurting out "sheeeeeiiiiiiiitttttt", but I think this is just because we don't get much backstory on him, and I bet a lot of people would think the same thing about Omar if we only saw select "action" scenes. When Omar threatens to kill him, he says "I'm at peace with my god. Do what you will." You get the feeling that there's a pretty interesting history behind this guy. Sadly, The Wire never has time to explore it.

Greatest Character Moment: Who could forget the alley confrontation between Mouzone and Omar?

24) Marlo Stanfield

The primary villain of Seasons Three through Five, to the extent that one has to be designated, Marlo is the powerful leader of a drug gang from the second we meet him, and ultimately rises to be the primary kingpin in Baltimore in Season Five. We don't know much about Marlo's history, just that he's soft-spoken and you don't want to mess with him and his lackeys.

After watching the series once, I spoke to friends about what a terrible character I think Marlo is, but after re-watches and pondering it more, I think I confused "terrible" with "hateable". Marlo has pretty much no redeeming qualities and mostly just sits back and avoids doing the dirty work, issuing soft-spoken commands when necessary. He doesn't get fired up about anything until the second-to-last episode of the series. The point is, you're supposed to hate Marlo, and the show does a great job of making you desperately hope the major crimes unit will bring him down.

Greatest Character Moment: I think that most people best remember Marlo's impassioned outburst at the jail linked above, but this scene takes the cake, as he calmly steals a lollipop from a drug store in front of a security guard, whom Marlo implies is powerless to do anything about it.

Security Guard: Look, I told you I ain't stepping to. I ain't disrespecting you, son.
Marlo Stanfield: You want it to be one way.
Security Guard: What?
Marlo Stanfield: You want it to be one way.
Security Guard: Man, I don't want it to be --
Marlo Stanfield: You want it to be one way.
Security Guard: [Losing temper] Man, stop -- [pulls himself together] -- Stop saying that.
Marlo Stanfield: But it's the other way.

23) Chris Partlow

Chris is Marlo's number-two and he's loyal to a fault, committing murder after murder because "it had to be done". He's the one who kills and hides victims in the vacant houses in Season Four, a fact that evades the police for nearly the entire season and reaches ghost-story status with the kids on the street.

Yet, it's clear that Chris isn't just some bloodthirsty serial killer. He does what he does out of allegiance to Marlo and not from any sense of rage or hatred for his targets. Before pulling the trigger, he typically tells the victim to relax, assuring him/her that it will be quick. The main exception to this was when Michael Lee asked for Chris' help in dealing with his brother Bug's abusive father. Rather than a quick, painless shot to the head, Chris angrily beats the man to death, which some believe to be his way of unleashing some suppressed demons from his own childhood.

Greatest Character Moment: Aforementioned beating, shown here beginning at 4:56

22) Chester 'Ziggy' Sobotka

Ziggy is loud, cocky, annoying, whiny, and stupid. Though they don't ever share a scene together, he'd do a great job making Herc look like a model citizen and a beacon of common sense. He's extremely aggravating to watch make obvious mistakes over and over again that result in him getting robbed, beaten, or just plain ridiculed by his fellow stevedores.

That's more or less the point of Ziggy for the first seven or so episodes of Season Two, but the home stretch fleshes him out a lot more. He has one of the best epigraphs (the character quotes shown before the beginning of each episode) of the entire series: 

"How come they don't fly away?" 

Ziggy says this when observing a group of ducks that are free to leave their cage, but don't. The ducks don't leave because they have clipped wings, which effectively traps them where they are.

The parallel here is that Ziggy, too, is trapped, and the show leaves it pretty open-ended as to whether that's truly Ziggy's fault. The later episodes of the season imply that his father, Frank Sobotka, was unattentive to Ziggy as a child and we see him enabling Ziggy's bad behavior as an adult. Maybe Ziggy was always destined to be a piece of shit, but without effective guidance from his father, he turns into a raging screw-up who's always demanding respect that he never earns. That takes a turn for the tragic when he finally snaps and murders Double G, followed by turning himself in. The Wire actually makes you feel bad for this guy -- something you would have never thought possible after four episodes of his nonsense.

Greatest Character Moment: The "seeing eye duck" stunt was funny, but his best scene is his final one with Frank at the prison.  Heartbreaking.

21) Wallace

Another tragic figure, Wallace is an intelligent kid with a good heart that becomes unfortunately mixed up in the drug trade simply because that's the situation he was born into. He's seen helping out younger kids in Baltimore's projects with their math as well as bringing them food. He's the first character we see to seek an escape from his current situation, deciding he wants nothing to do with drug dealing after seeing the way in which the Barksdale crew murdered Omar's boyfriend. He cooperates with the police and is put in witness protection away from the city, and heck, that's boring, so he finds his way back to Baltimore, where he meets his demise at the hands of his best friends.

This was Michael B. Jordan's big break as an actor because everyone who watched Season One was gripped by Wallace's tragic story. He's the guy on the streets you feel for the most (outside of possibly D'Angelo) and his death was just the first of many sad ones over the course of the series' run. He is the first of the five significant characters killed off in the second-to-last episode of a season, and the second of many characters to die (or nearly die) in the same episode in which they deliver the epigraph quote. In a pretty depressing sense, Wallace's death was a true "Welcome to The Wire" moment.

Greatest Character Moment: His death scene. It's one of the worst scenes to watch, but you can't say enough about Jordan's performance here.

The 30 Greatest Characters on 'The Wire', #30 - #26

Since starting writing here, I've been thinking of a way to pay homage to my favorite (and arguably the best) television series of all-time, HBO's The Wire. It is my hope that this multi-installment review of the greatest characters on the show will do it justice.

If you have not seen The Wire:

Step 1) Stop reading immediately (though you probably would do this anyway). There are spoilers below, and I will not be held responsible for ruining the greatest show of all time.

Step 2) Watch the entire series on HBO Go. If you do not get HBO, this is a fixable problem.

Step 3) Come back and read all of the character reviews I've completed so far.  If you enjoy good TV, you will binge all 60 episodes and finish the show before I finish the character rankings.

Step 4) Find a new job. In retrospect, that was a bad decision watching a full season of The Wire every day for five days because your employer expected you to show up to work. You need a means to pay for HBO so that you can watch all the episodes again.

On with the list.

30) Kima Greggs

Kima is the series' 4th-most prominent character, so I feel like this is sort of a slap in the face to rank her this low. Truth be told, I didn't find her as compelling as most because she didn't seem that nuanced of a character in her professional capacity. As an officer, Greggs is always portrayed as intelligent, strong, and with a keen loyalty and morals.  Most of the other police either have some gray area to their work or experience growth over the course of the series.

Instead, Kima's personal life is what makes her interesting. Her partner Cheryl becomes pregnant through artificial insemination, despite that Kima is lukewarm on the idea of having a child and is far too invested in her job to be any sort of a reliable parent. Ultimately, the two separate because they were never able to see eye-to-eye on the matter.

Greatest Character Moment: I honestly have a hard time picking one. I'd probably say my favorite scene with her is the "If I hear the music, I'm gonna dance" conversation, in which Daniels tries to convince her to join the Sobotka detail in Season Two.

29) Nick Sobotka

Season Two switches the focus onto the union stevedores that work Baltimore's city docks and Nick Sobotka is one of the primary characters through whom the audience explores that world. Thanks in part to deindustrialization, there's not enough work for the stevedores to make a good living, so Nick gets involved with smuggling and drug dealing to make ends meet for himself, his girlfriend, and his daughter.

Throughout Season Two, Nick is an easy character to root for because he has a good head on his shoulders and generally makes good decisions. He earns the trust of the Greeks due to his intelligence and loyalty and constantly has to bail out his cousin Ziggy, who is brash and incompetent.

Greatest Character Moment: The time he strong-armed Frog, and felt the need to inform Frog that he's white.

28) Jay Landsman

Corpulent Jay Landsman would be considered a cartoonish character if everything about him wasn't so believable. Watch him on the show and try telling me there isn't a guy exactly like Landsman in every major police precinct in America. Usually affable and typically seen with fried food or porn magazines, Landsman is a police middle management prototype, generally loyal to those who work for him, but he shows the propensity to be a pain in the ass, such as in Season 3 when he wouldn't get off Bunk Moreland's back about finding officer Dozerman's gun. He gets good results, but is prone to the occasional fuck-up, like when he failed to inform Daniels' unit that Ziggy Sobotka had confessed to murder.

Overall though, Landsman is pretty likable for his comic relief and the fact that he's a bit of a prankster. He doesn't develop much at all over the course of the series and is usually just kinda there. But he's usually entertaining when he's on screen.

Greatest Character Moment: For me, it's a toss up between his three eulogies at the detectives' wakes or the following quote when advising Beadie Russell how to dress:

"For you, l would suggest some pantsuits muted in color. Something to offset Detective Moreland's pinstriped, lawyerly affectations and the brash, tweedy impertinence of Detective Freamon."

27) Clay Davis

The Wire is a serious drama, but it definitely has a sense of humor. For the most part, the laughs come from natural dialogue and what we know about the various characters, assisted by superb acting. There's almost no weird gimmicks or catch phrases. Almost.

Maryland Senator Clay Davis, the most corrupt politician in all of Baltimore (hopefully), is the exception to that rule, thanks to the long, drawn-out way that he says the word "shit".  I can't do it justice in text, but it says something that the most quoted line from The Wire is a one-word expression from such a minor character (Davis has the 40th-most lines of any character in the series).

Davis is the type of monster that creator David Simon wants us to be aware is prevalent in American politics. He draws money from illegal sources. He takes donations from people (notably Frank Sobotka and Stringer Bell) who hope he will advance their interests, but ultimately Davis does nothing to help them. Wickedly charismatic and capable of delivering a passionate speech, Davis' ability to spin his own image, in addition to immunity drawn from his relationship with key law enforcement personnel, generally keeps him out of harm's way despite his transgressions.

Greatest Character Moment: Just watch this

26) Cedric Daniels

Another highly visible character, Daniels appears in more episodes of The Wire than any other (58 out of 60). One of the first things we learn about Daniels is that he has something of a dirty past, having been the target of an FBI investigation for corruption. However, over the course of the series, he evolves into the character in the Baltimore PD most committed to doing good, effective police work (well, without breaking the law, anyway).

We originally meet Daniels as the leader of the detail assigned to the Avon Barksdale investigation. He originally seems to be some sort of chain-of-command barrier to Jimmy McNulty advancing the Barksdale case, but over time he proves to be capable of both earning the respect of his subordinates and giving them what they need to get the job done, even though he is often acutely aware of what he needs to do to please his superiors and advance his career.

Daniels is another easy guy to root for throughout the series' run because he typically makes the "right" decision and when he doesn't, the show does a good job of helping us to understand why. Undermined by his wife, superiors who care more about numbers than results, and occasionally incompetent underlings, Daniels fights through many challenges and sort of comes out a winner, being promoted to commissioner before being forced to resign and eventually putting his law degree to use.

Greatest Character Moment: Nothing beats pissed-off Daniels, and here's him at his pissedoffiest

Carcassonne

I'm a pretty big fan of board games, but I feel like I haven't been exposed to as many of them as I'd like to be. Growing up I used to play a lot of the standard ones like Monopoly, Life, Stratego, and the like, but nothing more involved than that.

About six years ago or so, I got to experience The Settlers of Catan for the first time on a double date and I was completely hooked. Soon after, I appropriately set up an emergency board game night with four of my friends to try it. They were probably a little confused, since I think the last time we'd all played a board game together was a seemingly neverending game of Risk our sophomore year of college, but nonetheless, we set it up. The board was ridiculously crowded because it's meant for just four players and we had five (we used Risk pieces for the fifth person, if you were curious), but nonetheless, everyone was a pretty big fan, and it spread quickly among my larger group of friends.

And so began the era of me being heavily interested in euro-style board games.

Truth be told, I can't exactly call myself a connoisseur here despite how much I enjoy them. I need to not only get more experience with the ones I have, but also expand my bank of games. Since then, I've played Ticket to Ride and Dominion, which were both very good. But, as the title implies, I'd like to talk about a different one in this post -- Carcassonne.

I received Carcassonne as a Christmas gift three years ago and it basically sat in the box for two years. Eventually I got around to playing it a couple times with a friend or two. It seemed fun, but undeserving of the hype. I had just got Ticket to Ride the previous Christmas and that seemed like the far more enjoyable game at the time; others got hooked on that easily as well. That made it difficult to get people to play Carcassonne because board game time is pretty limited at my stage of life and when I can actually get together with others to play, people are typically content to play what they know and enjoy rather than dive into something that might take experience to appreciate.

Fortunately, I had a good opportunity to give the game another go over New Years, which I spent with my wife's family. I brought Carcassonne with to the house we were staying at, pretty unsure of why I was doing so given my own reluctance to push it over the past few years. Surprisingly, my wife's cousins and I wound up giving it a try. Perhaps more surprisingly, it was an instant hit, and I gained a far greater appreciation for it.

Carcassonne is for 2-5 players and while I've given it a go with two and five, I think it plays best with three or four. The game itself is probably simpler to understand than I made it out to be in my mind, because after a few minutes it's pretty easy to figure out what's going on. You don't set up a board at the beginning of Carcassonne.  Rather, you build the board one tile at a time, gradually creating a map of cities, roads, and fields that comes together like a neat puzzle.  Along the way, you claim cities, roads, and fields and then (generally) score points upon their completion.

The concept is extremely simple but the strategy seems like it will take a hundred games to master. The feeling that I've got a lot to learn about correct play is what is really sucking me in. Never have I played a game before where I've so frequently decided I've made a (huge) mistake seconds after making a move (and that's saying something, because I'm a habitual second-guesser). While I used the puzzle analogy above, it doesn't quite work because in a puzzle, there's one piece for one location. In Carcassonne, there's a LOT of possible things you could do with each piece, many of them have their merits, and you have to do a lot of guesswork about how you think the board will build itself by the end of the game. Often times, the obvious move isn't the best one, and being able to adjust your plan on the fly to the ever-developing map is a must.

While that might imply that there's a chess-esque low level of luck in the game and that new players don't have much hope, that's certainly not the case. Drawing the right tile at the right time can make up for blunders in design, so randomness is definitely a factor, and everyone, even those with plenty of experience with the game, will make some errors. The complexity in strategy is necessary because there's no one silver-bullet A-B-C strategy that's going to make you win more than your fair share (unlike, say, Ticket to Ride, which is a great game but I feel like I follow the same basic plan every time with good results). That makes for high replayability, which is an absolute must for a great game.

I feel like I'm going to have to play this a lot more for me to assess whether it's my favorite game I've ever played, but the fact that this is a possibility at all says a lot. I highly recommend this game and hope that others will have as much fun playing it as I have.