Ballers -- Season One

I know I've heard several recommendations to watch HBO's Ballers over time, though I can't remember specific instances or people who have told me. Come to think of it, maybe I was drunk every time it's come up. In any event, checking it out has been on my to-do list for quite some time.

Ballers follows the story of ex-Miami Dolphins star Spencer Strasmore (Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson), who has taken to a career of personal financial management in his post-football life. Spencer was recruited by his boss and buddy-cop Joe Krutel (Rob Corddry) to utilize his connections to pro athletes to grow the financial management firm's practice. Johnson and Corddry connect very well on-screen together and many of the show's best scenes involve their interplay.

Strasmore has two good friends that receive season-long story arcs. Ricky Jerret (John David Washington) is a slot receiver who, despite his relatively advanced age, has plenty of NFL talent left in him. Jerret's a loose cannon and his off-the-field problems are constantly getting in the way of his career. He's got a good heart on him and a fiery, intense personality, but often his rash behavior gets in the way of his good intentions.

Strasmore's other friend is Charles Greane (Omar Miller), a teddy bear of a former offensive lineman who's struggling to find fulfillment after football. Much of Charles' storyline focuses on his relationship with his wife Julie (Jazmyn Simon) and his adaptation to a considerably lower-excitement job at a car dealership.

Ballers insists that it falls under the category of a "dramedy", but it has roughly the same amount of drama as a typical episode of Full House. There's plenty of moments in the show that will make you laugh (many of them involving Corddry), but the biggest problem with Ballers is that everything that happens has low stakes. These are privileged people who have made millions of dollars in their careers. Any financial tragedy that befalls them is borne of their own incompetence.

For example, Spencer is a charismatic, fully competent man with a well-known name. Can his life ever really be in hot water if he doesn't succeed at Anderson Financial Management? What about Ricky Jerret? He owns a gigantic mansion along with a not-so-secret and equally sized "funhouse". What are we supposed to feel if he's unable to continue playing in the NFL? Why should this matter?

The glorification of wealth (which, don't get me wrong, is a necessary aspect of any TV show about professional athletes for realism purposes) makes it tricky for a show with the premise of Ballers to resonate with an audience, and while there's plenty of plot lines they could have explored to make this show more interesting, Ballers shies away from anything remotely challenging. For example, we're constantly shown Spencer popping pills and experiencing a particularly haunting flashback to a particular hit he put upon an opposing player. With all the issues of concussions and brain trauma surrounding the NFL, seeing an ex-player struggle with the ramifications of that would have been very compelling. Instead, Spencer goes to the doctor and finds out that his head is completely fine and that he's experiencing psychological problems. The psychological problems, as Spencer realizes, are coming from guilt about that big hit he made that keeps flashing before his eyes. So what does he do? He apologizes to the guy he hit and takes him to a Marlins game to have him throw out the first pitch. Problem solved, no lasting consequence.

Several of Ricky's storylines are equally problematic. He's got a teammate, Alonzo, who doesn't like him because Ricky has been sleeping with a woman who, unbeknownst to Ricky, is Alonzo's mother. Ricky cuts it off (not in the least because of that realization), but Alonzo still engages in an escalating series of pranks and hateful activities. How does Ricky eventually solve the problem? We use an overdone sitcom trope of Ricky setting up a situation for him to "save" Alonzo and enter into his good graces. The hoax works, and we barely see any of Alonzo for the rest of the season. Another story involves Ricky pissing off his girlfriend by being ignorant of her feelings during the "Alonzo's mom" controversy. So what does he do? He tries to buy ridiculously expensive jewelry to repair the damage. Given how nice and neat Ballers wrapped up pretty much every problem that surfaced during this season, I'm surprised that didn't work.

One principal criticism of this show that I've heard is the pervasive Entourage-esque sexism. This may seem like a controversial thought, but I don't think that this is a valid criticism of the show's quality. Current and former professional football players have a long history of a culture that objectifies and mistreats women. If the show were to ignore that, or portray a cast of football players that act with utmost kindness and respect towards women, it would unfortunately ring hallow. I was often put off by the show's portrayal of its female characters (Julie excepted -- she's awesome), but for the show's more mindful viewers, that's part of the point.

Despite its flaws, Ballers is a really easy watch and I never found myself particularly bored while going through the first season. I just don't think that it's a very good television show. You can have a successful comedy without hard-hitting drama (see Seinfeld, Arrested Development), but the show needs to have an excellent/unique sense of humor. I watch The Big Bang Theory and Silicon Valley -- both are comedies that are funnier than Ballers and somehow have substantially more dramatic weight, despite both being extremely lighthearted shows. In retrospect, I'm not sure what was so compelling about Ballers that kept me going. I do think that Johnson, Washington, and Corddry are pretty good actors, so maybe that's it. It's just a shame that they're being held back by mediocre and unambitious writing.

Season Grade: C

Bullet Points

• Awww hell no. They've got my man Bunny Colvin mixed up in this show?

• So, what was the point of that nonsense with Jason and the golfer guy dating his mom?

• That scene where Dan chucks the baseball at the cameraman when throwing out the first pitch was simply awful. The throw looked fake as all hell -- nay -- FAKER than all hell, and I'm not sure why the show wanted to glorify drilling some random dude with a baseball.

• There were a LOT of NFL players that guest starred in this show, plus Giancarlo Stanton! I recall Antonio Brown, Victor Cruz, Julian Edelman....and that's probably it for people whose pictures I remember from fantasy football profile photos.

• I'm not sure whether I'll watch Season Two.

So What's Else Is Going On? - TV

Clearly I've spent a good amount of time here discussing Better Call Saul and BoJack Horseman, but I do watch other stuff (I promise!) that I don't have the desire or energy to discuss on an episode-to-episode basis. Here's some blurbs on what else I've been watching this year.

Modern Family and The Big Bang Theory

I'm lumping these two together because they're both just kinda there. They've had two very different trajectories over their run. Modern Family started out amazing and then gradually went down the tubes. The Big Bang Theory started out pretty bad, got significantly better and peaked in its seventh season, and now is facing the decline phase as it tries to wring whatever plot lines it might have left in this core group of characters. I enjoy these shows, but they're largely forgettable.

Archer

I mentioned during last year's TV review that Archer was getting dangerously close to getting dropped from my rotation if it didn't start getting a lot better. While Season Seven was nothing like its Seasons 1-3 heyday, it at the very least featured a massive rebound from Season Six. The gang's reboot as The Figgis Agency largely worked and we got an interesting season-long plot line that kept things moving. I'm not a fan of the clones/Kriegerbots/whatever, but at the very least that aspect of the show was used to great effect in the finale. Without spoiling anything, I have no idea how they're going to reconcile the Season Seven ending with the fact that Archer has been renewed for another three years.

Catastrophe

This is the first Amazon Prime show I've ever watched and it was a good one. Rob Norris (Rob Delaney), an American, goes on a business trip to London and meets Sharon Morris (Sharon Horgan). The two have an extended fling, but when he goes back home, he gets a call from Sharon (who amusingly pops up as "Sharon London Sex" on his phone during the series' entire run), who reveals that she's pregnant. This is the initial "catastrophe", but many others ensue as Rob moves to London to make it work with Sharon and raise their baby.

The heart of the show is Sharon and Rob's relationship, but the minor characters get a little more to do in the second season. The show has a sharp wit and is often laugh-out-loud funny (Carrie Fisher is awesome as Rob's awful mother). It's only two seasons of six episodes apiece, so it's a relatively quick watch if you're looking for something new to get into.

Suits

Suits somehow is still trucking along through Season Six and has been renewed for Seasons Seven and Eight. I have no idea what they're going to do with it -- they've already exhausted pretty much every plot line that could cause upheaval within Pearson Specter Litt. The firm's been whittled down to just the core six characters and Mike's stuck in prison. I've been pretty invested in Mike's prison plot line and his relationship with his roommate and his prison nemesis, but the rest of it has been pretty "eh". The writing has become piss-poor on this show over the years and they use the word "goddamn" like a crutch. 

Louis Litt, the show's best character, has very little to do relevant to the drama and does ridiculous things, like purchase a house just so he can spend time with an interior decorator he has a crush on. Donna's schtick is getting pretty old after six seasons. The whole thing seems so low-leverage to me -- Mike's in prison for two years and everyone else got off scot-free. Isn't that a tremendously positive result given how many rules they've broken? Can't he just wait the two years (assuming Harvey could get Gallo out of there) and call it a win? I don't see why a group of very smart people is willing to risk even greater chunks of their lives to spring Mike from jail, even if he took those years to protect them. I'm probably not going to stop watching Suits because it's fun, brainless, easy to digest, and my wife likes it too, but it's far past its prime.

Louie (Season Five)

Season Five of Louie came out on Netflix this year and it was pretty strong, even if it was short. The season features Louie and Pamela trying to make sense out of their relationship and some interesting experiences that Louie has when traveling for work.

Louie is always a hard show to explain to people who haven't seen it. I guess I'd compare it to a more serious Curb Your Enthusiasm in that Louie explores the ridiculousness of some somewhat mundane situations, but the show digs deeper than Curb's pure goofballery and there's a surreal component to it as well. I'm never over-the-moon enjoying myself while watching the show (Season Four's superlatively excellent "Into the Woods" arc aside), but it's always making you think about the way we interact with the world.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

This is belated, but I finally got around to watching Season 11 (wow, how is that possible already) of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. This is a show that just kinda sits around on our DVR, never at the top of my wife's / my list of things to watch on a given night, and eventually we accumulate the entire season until I just decide to binge it while she's working or reading. It was surprisingly pretty funny even this late into its run. Much of the season is spent nodding and winking to loyal fans of the series over the past ten seasons, but despite that, it's still great television on its own. My personal favorite is one told entirely through Frank's eyes, and we learn just how ol' Danny DeVito struggles to keep up with the gang's shenanigans on a day-to-day basis.

The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt

This one I'm close to writing off. I fell asleep (literally) during many of the episodes and it just wasn't compelling enough to keep me going now that Kimmy's somewhat removed from being a prisoner. Two of the four primary characters -- Lillian and Jacqueline -- are thoroughly disinteresting, particularly Lillian, whose weird anti-gentrification schtick wears pretty thin and who offers absolutely nothing except attempts at humor through ohmygawd-she's-so-decrepit shock value. Jacqueline is just Jane Krakowski playing essentially the same self-absorbed elitist character she played on 30 Rock. I've seen that movie before. Plus, the show weirdly created a second character for Tina Fey to play. It's her baby, so she can do whatever she wants, but as an audience member, I found her plurality bothersome.

Silicon Valley

This slipped my mind somehow in my original edition of this post. Silicon Valley's sense of humor is as great as that of any show currently on television and Ehrlich Bachman and Bertram Gilfoyle are outstanding comedic characters. Season Three digs further into the somewhat complicated relationship between Richard and Ehrlich as the latter's mistakes continue to wear on their friendship. Richard continues to deal with what's been the central conflict of the entire show -- the difficulties of having control over the destiny of your own idea. I have no idea whether the show accurately portrays the power struggle between the idea men, the business managers, and investors, but it's fascinating to watch. The show has done well to give Richard more of an edge to him as the series has developed. Originally, Richard was pretty shy and humble, but he's attained more confidence from the call of leadership and it's not clear that's made him a stronger person -- in reality, he's kind of an ass sometimes. We're not rooting as hard for Richard to succeed as we did when the show began, but we're just as interested to see if he does.

South Park

I'm only two (good) episodes in, but I can just tell that Trey Parker and Matt Stone are going to hit this one out of the park, just like they did last year.

Other Shows I Hope to Watch Before Year-End
Mr. Robot (Season Two)
You're the Worst (Seasons One through Three)
Top Chef (first half of Season Fourteen)
Ballers (Seasons One & Two)

BoJack Horseman Season Three, Episode Twelve: "That Went Well"

On the heels of the crushing death of Sarah Lynn and BoJack (again) hitting (what appears to be) rock bottom, BoJack Horseman had a lot of loose ends to tie up in its season finale, particularly with only one of the previous three episodes featuring the broad cast of characters.

We first start off with the mystery of the spaghetti strainers, which has been set up and played with all season long (even to the point of Mr. Peanutbutter insisting that "the payoff is gonna be worth it"). Yes, boat thief and esteemed character actress Margo Martindale collided with the not-so-famous Cartindale Cargo ship, causing the sea to fill up with pasta threatening to somehow destroy an underwater city. Who do you think can save the day?

Honestly, I was a little underwhelmed by the "payoff" because they foreshadowed it so heavily that it was impossible to not see coming and they spent way too long reaching the resolution, which was going to be obvious from the second Sandro said "pasta". We didn't need Tom Jumbo-Grumbo and some "pasta scientist" explaining that many strainers would be needed and that drivers that could swim would be needed. It was also totally unnecessary / unfunny to include the effort that it took to reach Mr. Peanutbutter, who turned his phone off at the movies. Cutting straight from the first shot of Pacific Ocean City's impending doom to Mr. Peanutbutter arriving on scene looking like a strainer-laden badass with the whale girls in cabs would have been much funnier, not to mention more efficient.

Anyway, it was a nice bit of comedy before we jump back into the serious stuff.

Diane comes to visit BoJack because he's got some weird effect on her, as we saw from two episodes ago. Despite how much he pissed her off, their fight somehow flipped a switch in Diane when she yelled at a waitress for pouring water that wasn't requested. Her friend (whom we've weirdly never seen before) also made the observation that she's really hung up on BoJack. So it makes sense that out of Todd, Princess Carolyn, and Diane that Diane is the only one to return to BoJack's house to talk to him after Sarah Lynn's death. She tells BoJack that Horsin' Around was a source of comfort to her during her early years with her awful family and in reply, BoJack says that Diane knows him better than anyone and that he needs her in his life.

Diane's talk inspires BoJack to call Bradley Hitler-Smith about doing Ethan Around, feeling that a show like Horsin' Around is still needed in this day and age ("I knew there'd be Full House parallels, but this is ridiculous!"). Bradley is again overjoyed and uproots his life and burns the bridges once more. Man, that guy is pathetic.

Later, we cut to Ethan and BoJack on the set and BoJack is selflessly pushing for Ethan to take the best lines, insisting that it's his show. He even works with Ethan on his comedic timing and facial expressions. It seems like he's doing a great job helping to put the show together until one of the young girls working on the show tells him that she wants to be like him when he grows up. That cuts to BoJack's core in the aftermath of Sarah Lynn's death and the thought of repeating the cycle haunts him. He leaves the set, takes a look at his house, leaves without closing the door, and drives far away.

Mr. Peanutbutter decides to sell Cabracadabra, a move that would have yielded a crazy payoff to Princess Carolyn had she still been running Vim. Carolyn overhears Mr. Peanutbutter taking an offer for the business and the agent inside her is screaming because he's going about it all wrong. She's been having a great time with Ralph since leaving the agency but in the end, it appears she can't save herself from herself. She wants to be a "manager" instead of an "agent", which the show aggressively points out is just same shit different name. In the end, she's reunited with Judah at Vim, invigorated and ready to attack her "new" career. This time around, though, she won't have just a bunch of unwatched DVDs of The Good Wife waiting for her at home; there'll be a guy that she really clicks with who's clearly not thrilled that she's heading back to the job that owns her.

There's even more setup for drama in the next season as Diane takes a job writing for Ralph's sister's website. It sounded just like a celebrity smut website as far as I could tell, but the most interesting part about their meeting was the implication that Diane will at some point have to publish criticisms of her husband -- a problem compounded by the latter's impending run for governor. Diane is vocal against Cabracadabra and wouldn't back down from the Hank Hippopopoulos scandal last season even when her refusal to do so could've been detrimental to Mr. Peanutbutter's career. That marriage was on the brink earlier this season and though it appears that they've fixed some things, we're set up to see Diane choose between her principles and her husband in Season Four. And what's BoJack's role in that potential mess? I don't think we've completely slammed the door on BoJack as a love interest for Diane.

Meanwhile, Todd and Emily both receive $8 million from the sale of Cabracadabra and they see each other for the first time since their BoJack-induced falling out. They start to hit it off and Emily asks Todd the question that we've all been pondering for a while now. "What's your deal?" Todd's answer registers as a bit of a surprise:

"I'm not gay. I mean, I don't think I am, but I don't think I'm straight, either. I don't know what I am. I think I might be nothing."

It's an interesting turn that merits exploring in future seasons, particularly in light of Todd's past behavior. In Season One, Todd was seen trying to date women from other countries over the internet ("In America, I am actually considered very handsome"). Maybe he was trying to discover his sexuality back then and his encounters with Emily cemented that he really doesn't have feelings like that? In any case, Todd coming to this realization is a big moment and I'm anxious to see where they go with this.

The finale was overall pretty busy and served as some quality setup for next season, but it's a step down from most of the episodes that preceded it. I don't know what to make of the concluding scene with BoJack watching a herd of horses running across the desert. The music makes it feel uplifting and important, but just what are we supposed to believe clicks for BoJack here? We've been fooled by moments like this before and BoJack Horseman needs to let us believe that positive change is possible before we can get our hopes up.

Episode Grade: B-

Bullet Points

• Okay, so there's pretty much zero chance that Margo Martindale is dead, right?

• "Spaghetti or not. Here. I. Come."

• I don't think houses with two sets of stairs are as uncommon as Diane thinks they are. But I get the joke....Full House, Family Matters, etc. all had a set of stairs in the living room and the kitchen.

• "His company's basically Hooters on Wheels."

• "You can tell me if you're gay. This isn't the 1600s or some places in the present."

• Dammit, Todd's broke again after tipping the waitress $8 million. I was looking forward to Rich Todd. You just know that the waitress' wealth is going to come back in Season Four as at least a throwaway gag, because this is BoJack Horseman.

• It certainly seems that BoJack is a father to a daughter he's never met. That's some more quality setup for next season.

• And finally, my pet peeve is the thing that's yet unresolved...what about Judah's mid-season meeting with Charley Witherspoon?  I was really intrigued with where they were going with that and why Judah decided to set up that meeting in secret. I guess we'll have to wait. There's few details in BoJack Horseman that don't prove themselves relevant eventually.

2000-2009 Was an Awful Decade for Pop Music

My wife, daughter, and I enjoyed a wonderful weekend in Saugatuck, Michigan to celebrate Labor Day. On the way home, I was getting a little sick of hearing Justin Timberlake's Can't Stop the Feeling for the 200th time (though no disrespect -- solid song!), so we put on Sirius's Pop2K station and listened to the Pop2Kountdown, in which they counted down the top 30 "summer songs" from 2000-2009 based on how many weeks they were at #1 on the charts.  Here is a list of these songs:

30. Sisqo - Incomplete ('00)
29. Chamillionaire / Krayzie Bone - Ridin' ('06)
28. Plain White T's - Hey There Delilah ('06)
27. Destiny's Child - Bootylicious ('01)
26. 'N Sync - It's Gonna Be Me ('00)
25. Juvenile & Soulja Slim - Slow Motion ('04)
24. Enrique Iglesias - Be With You ('00)
23. Shakira / Wyclef Jean - Hips Don't Lie ('06)
22. Fergie - London Bridge ('06)
21. Terror Squad Ft. Fat Joe & Remy - Lean Back ('04)
20. Alicia Keys - Fallin' ('01)
19. Janet Jackson - Doesn't Really Matter ('00)
18. Sean Kingston - Beautiful Girls ('07)
17. Lil' Wayne - Lollipop - ('08)
16. Nelly/Diddy/Murphy Lee - Shake Ya Tailfeather ('03)
15. 50 Cent - 21 Questions ('03)
14. Usher - You Remind Me ('01)
13. Christina Aguilera/Lil Kim/Mya/Pink - Lady Marmalade ('01)
12. Nelly Furtado / Timbaland - Promiscuous ('06)
11. Katy Perry - I Kissed a Girl ('08)
10. Rihanna / Jay-Z - Umbrella ('07)
9. Nelly - Hot In Herre - ('02)
8. Usher - Burn ('04)
7. Beyonce / Jay-Z - Crazy In Love ('03)
6. Nelly & Kelly Rowland - Dilemma ('02)
5. Ashanti - Foolish ('02)
4. Santana - Maria Maria ('00)
3. Black Eyed Peas - Boom Boom Pow ('09)
2. Mariah Carey - We Belong Together ('05)
1. Black Eyed Peas - I Gotta Feeling ('09)

Holy.....

What a horsecrap list of songs that is.

It is genuinely batshit bonkers that this is what the country was obsessed with over a course of a full decade of summers. I mean there's some winners scattered here or there, but wow.

I may be on the wrong side of 30 (just slightly!) but this isn't salty-old-curmudgeon-isn't-hip-with-the-times bashing, nor is it music-elitist-all-pop-music-is-terrible blather. I like a good deal of pop music. That list of songs is just putrid and there's really no debating it. Who listens to more than one or two of these songs on purpose in 2016? Do people get stoked when any of these songs come on at a wedding? Would hearing any of these at a bar cause the place to go crazy with singing and dancing? Do any of these songs make a person feel anything at all?

In particular, the era between 2004 and 2008, unfortunately the chunk of time during which I was in college, is the saddest collection of the bunch. They're mostly generic hip hop / club / rap songs that are terrible. I've nothing against the genre, but I have plenty against these specific songs. I guess when you're in college, it could be worse because at least most of them are fine as background noise at sloppy, trashy parties. But man, outside of that context, almost none of them hold up. Are you going to play Lean Back at your barbeque this weekend? Whether you're looking for a jam to sing along to, dance to, lift your spirits, pump you up, or help you escape from / cope with life, Slow Motion is useless.

Just for comparison, I wanted to see how this decade has been looking. We've only crossed 7 summers off the list so far, but I compiled what this list would look like including only songs that have hit #1 on The Hot 100 between May and August during a year in the 2010s (important that I can only draw on a similar base of songs to the prior list....so stuff like Tik Tok doesn't qualify).

30. Justin Timberlake - Can't Stop the Feeling ('16) (1 week)
29. Taylor Swift Ft. Kendrick Lamar - Bad Blood ('15) (1 week)
28. Pitbull Ft. Ne-Yo - Give Me Everything ('11) (1 week)
27. Eminem - Not Afraid ('10) (1 week)
26. Desiigner - Panda ('16) (2 weeks)
25. Flo Rida - Whistle ('12) (2 weeks)
24. Katy Perry - Last Friday Night ('11) (2 weeks)
23. B.O.B. Ft. Bruno Mars - Nothin' on You ('10) (2 weeks)
22. The Weeknd - Can't Feel My Face ('15) (3 weeks)
21. John Legend - All of Me ('14) (3 weeks)
20. P!nk Ft. Nate Reuss - Just Give Me A Reason ('13) (3 weeks)
19. Sia Ft. Sean Paul - Cheap Thrills ('16) (4 weeks)
18. OMG - Usher Ft. will.i.am ('10) (4 weeks)
17. MAGIC! - Rude ('14) (5 weeks)
16. Macklemore & Ryan Lewis - Can't Hold Us ('13) (5 weeks)
15. Katy Perry Ft. Kayne West - E.T. ('11) (5 weeks)
14. Omi - Cheerleader ('15) (6 weeks)
13. Macklemore & Ryan Lewis - Thrift Shop ('13) (6 weeks)
12. LMFAO - Party Rock Anthem ('11) (6 weeks)
11. Adele - Rolling in the Deep ('11) (6 weeks)
10. Eminem Ft. Rihanna - Love the Way You Lie ('10) (6 weeks)
9. Katy Perry Ft. Snoop Dogg - California Gurls ('10) (6 weeks)
8. Iggy Azalea Ft. Charli XCX - Fancy ('14) (7 weeks)
7. Gotye Ft. Kimbra - Somebody That I Used to Know ('12) (8 weeks)
6. Carly Rae Jepsen - Call Me Maybe ('12) (9 weeks)
5. Drake Ft. WizKid & Kyla - One Dance ('16) (10 weeks)
4. Pharrell Williams - Happy ('14) (10 weeks)
3. Wiz Khalifa Ft. Charlie Puth - See You Again ('15) (12 weeks)
2. Robin Thicke Ft. T.I. & Pharrell - Blurred Lines ('13) (12 weeks)
1. Mark Ronson Ft. Bruno Mars  - Uptown Funk ('15) (14 weeks)

It's seriously like night and day. If we were to combine the two sets of 30 songs to make a list of the 30 "best" songs, how many from the 2000's even make the list? Five?

In conclusion, 2000-2009 is the worst decade in pop music history.