2000-2009 Was an Awful Decade for Pop Music

My wife, daughter, and I enjoyed a wonderful weekend in Saugatuck, Michigan to celebrate Labor Day. On the way home, I was getting a little sick of hearing Justin Timberlake's Can't Stop the Feeling for the 200th time (though no disrespect -- solid song!), so we put on Sirius's Pop2K station and listened to the Pop2Kountdown, in which they counted down the top 30 "summer songs" from 2000-2009 based on how many weeks they were at #1 on the charts.  Here is a list of these songs:

30. Sisqo - Incomplete ('00)
29. Chamillionaire / Krayzie Bone - Ridin' ('06)
28. Plain White T's - Hey There Delilah ('06)
27. Destiny's Child - Bootylicious ('01)
26. 'N Sync - It's Gonna Be Me ('00)
25. Juvenile & Soulja Slim - Slow Motion ('04)
24. Enrique Iglesias - Be With You ('00)
23. Shakira / Wyclef Jean - Hips Don't Lie ('06)
22. Fergie - London Bridge ('06)
21. Terror Squad Ft. Fat Joe & Remy - Lean Back ('04)
20. Alicia Keys - Fallin' ('01)
19. Janet Jackson - Doesn't Really Matter ('00)
18. Sean Kingston - Beautiful Girls ('07)
17. Lil' Wayne - Lollipop - ('08)
16. Nelly/Diddy/Murphy Lee - Shake Ya Tailfeather ('03)
15. 50 Cent - 21 Questions ('03)
14. Usher - You Remind Me ('01)
13. Christina Aguilera/Lil Kim/Mya/Pink - Lady Marmalade ('01)
12. Nelly Furtado / Timbaland - Promiscuous ('06)
11. Katy Perry - I Kissed a Girl ('08)
10. Rihanna / Jay-Z - Umbrella ('07)
9. Nelly - Hot In Herre - ('02)
8. Usher - Burn ('04)
7. Beyonce / Jay-Z - Crazy In Love ('03)
6. Nelly & Kelly Rowland - Dilemma ('02)
5. Ashanti - Foolish ('02)
4. Santana - Maria Maria ('00)
3. Black Eyed Peas - Boom Boom Pow ('09)
2. Mariah Carey - We Belong Together ('05)
1. Black Eyed Peas - I Gotta Feeling ('09)

Holy.....

What a horsecrap list of songs that is.

It is genuinely batshit bonkers that this is what the country was obsessed with over a course of a full decade of summers. I mean there's some winners scattered here or there, but wow.

I may be on the wrong side of 30 (just slightly!) but this isn't salty-old-curmudgeon-isn't-hip-with-the-times bashing, nor is it music-elitist-all-pop-music-is-terrible blather. I like a good deal of pop music. That list of songs is just putrid and there's really no debating it. Who listens to more than one or two of these songs on purpose in 2016? Do people get stoked when any of these songs come on at a wedding? Would hearing any of these at a bar cause the place to go crazy with singing and dancing? Do any of these songs make a person feel anything at all?

In particular, the era between 2004 and 2008, unfortunately the chunk of time during which I was in college, is the saddest collection of the bunch. They're mostly generic hip hop / club / rap songs that are terrible. I've nothing against the genre, but I have plenty against these specific songs. I guess when you're in college, it could be worse because at least most of them are fine as background noise at sloppy, trashy parties. But man, outside of that context, almost none of them hold up. Are you going to play Lean Back at your barbeque this weekend? Whether you're looking for a jam to sing along to, dance to, lift your spirits, pump you up, or help you escape from / cope with life, Slow Motion is useless.

Just for comparison, I wanted to see how this decade has been looking. We've only crossed 7 summers off the list so far, but I compiled what this list would look like including only songs that have hit #1 on The Hot 100 between May and August during a year in the 2010s (important that I can only draw on a similar base of songs to the prior list....so stuff like Tik Tok doesn't qualify).

30. Justin Timberlake - Can't Stop the Feeling ('16) (1 week)
29. Taylor Swift Ft. Kendrick Lamar - Bad Blood ('15) (1 week)
28. Pitbull Ft. Ne-Yo - Give Me Everything ('11) (1 week)
27. Eminem - Not Afraid ('10) (1 week)
26. Desiigner - Panda ('16) (2 weeks)
25. Flo Rida - Whistle ('12) (2 weeks)
24. Katy Perry - Last Friday Night ('11) (2 weeks)
23. B.O.B. Ft. Bruno Mars - Nothin' on You ('10) (2 weeks)
22. The Weeknd - Can't Feel My Face ('15) (3 weeks)
21. John Legend - All of Me ('14) (3 weeks)
20. P!nk Ft. Nate Reuss - Just Give Me A Reason ('13) (3 weeks)
19. Sia Ft. Sean Paul - Cheap Thrills ('16) (4 weeks)
18. OMG - Usher Ft. will.i.am ('10) (4 weeks)
17. MAGIC! - Rude ('14) (5 weeks)
16. Macklemore & Ryan Lewis - Can't Hold Us ('13) (5 weeks)
15. Katy Perry Ft. Kayne West - E.T. ('11) (5 weeks)
14. Omi - Cheerleader ('15) (6 weeks)
13. Macklemore & Ryan Lewis - Thrift Shop ('13) (6 weeks)
12. LMFAO - Party Rock Anthem ('11) (6 weeks)
11. Adele - Rolling in the Deep ('11) (6 weeks)
10. Eminem Ft. Rihanna - Love the Way You Lie ('10) (6 weeks)
9. Katy Perry Ft. Snoop Dogg - California Gurls ('10) (6 weeks)
8. Iggy Azalea Ft. Charli XCX - Fancy ('14) (7 weeks)
7. Gotye Ft. Kimbra - Somebody That I Used to Know ('12) (8 weeks)
6. Carly Rae Jepsen - Call Me Maybe ('12) (9 weeks)
5. Drake Ft. WizKid & Kyla - One Dance ('16) (10 weeks)
4. Pharrell Williams - Happy ('14) (10 weeks)
3. Wiz Khalifa Ft. Charlie Puth - See You Again ('15) (12 weeks)
2. Robin Thicke Ft. T.I. & Pharrell - Blurred Lines ('13) (12 weeks)
1. Mark Ronson Ft. Bruno Mars  - Uptown Funk ('15) (14 weeks)

It's seriously like night and day. If we were to combine the two sets of 30 songs to make a list of the 30 "best" songs, how many from the 2000's even make the list? Five?

In conclusion, 2000-2009 is the worst decade in pop music history.