BoJack Horseman Season Three, Episode Nine: "Best Thing that Ever Happened"

Holy shit.

What did I just watch?

When I try to sell BoJack Horseman on people who don't watch it and don't get what it's about, the first thing I use to try to sell them is that it has really, really strong characters.  When my friend Dan turned me onto this show originally, that's the pitch I got. It feels so dorky and weird to actually feel feelings towards cartoon characters, but that's been a growing reality ever since Matt Groening subtly taught us to do that with The Simpsons. Then, Pixar came along and gave us gems like Up, The Good Dinosaur, and Inside Out. Voice acting and animation has become so strong that having a real person on screen has become less critical to giving the viewer a powerful experience.

"Best Thing that Ever Happened" represents some of BoJack Horseman's best character work to date as it draws on nearly three seasons worth of developing its leading horse and kitty. BoJack invites Princess Carolyn to Elefante with the intent to fire her for botching his potential acting gig with Kelsey Jannings. After Princess Carolyn tries to defend her actions and point out just how long their working relationship has been, he flatly tells her, "you're fired". The restaurant manager, who apparently has been doing a GREAT job keeping Elefante afloat with little guidance from BoJack, misunderstands and thinks he is the one who's been fired. So now a budding argument between BoJack and Carolyn is set to take place in a restaurant that's about to completely lose function.

Princess Carolyn goes straight to the Denial stage, thinking BoJack will get over this in a couple days, but pretty soon, she moves straight into Anger. She's indignant that she stuck with BoJack through his relentless screw-ups and against the advice of her bosses and peers. BoJack is pretty justified in being mad about Princess Carolyn's mistake, but if we're keeping score, his history of wasting her career and relative youth trumps this one transgression.

What follows is a series of below-the-belt punches that land particularly well because of just how intimately these two characters know each other. From BoJack's consistent self-sabotage to Princess Carolyn's love (compulsion?) of bailing BoJack out of his self-created issues, it all comes out. And eventually, BoJack drops a bomb on Princess Carolyn while mocking the way that she verbally abuses him:

"BoJack, you're such a big stupid asshole."
"BoJack, why were you even in the bounce house, dummy?"
"BoJack, you wasted my thirties."

That last bit is something we've felt ever since Season One's "Say Anything", in which Princess Carolyn turns 40 on a night of yet another love-and-loss experience with BoJack. The flashbacks from earlier this season, not to mention the cold open, show us just how long BoJack's jerked her heart around. This has been a long time coming and when it's finally put out there, BoJack's the one to call it out.

What REALLY sets off Princess Carolyn, though, is the fact that BoJack consulted Ana about the firing decision. I guess I'd like to think what made her the most pissed off is that she slept with him for years and was never able to exert that same level of influence over him. She's losing BoJack from both a professional and personal standpoint and as much as he's been a piece of shit to her, she's really angry that the (perceived?) underlying cause is the woman BoJack's now sleeping with.

Meanwhile, while the restaurant falls apart, the food critic has ordered mushroom risotto. No one knows how to make it but Princess Carolyn and she volunteers to do it. BoJack sees this as another one of her attempts to "put out a fire" for him at her own expense and calls it out. She agrees and leaves the restaurant, but only gets so far before she wheels around and feeds her weird, self-destructive craving to help BoJack out of a jam.

BoJack's touched by her return and they talk amicably for a time until BoJack asks her why she's an agent if it makes her so miserable. Princess Carolyn replies that it's because she's good at it (which, have we really seen much evidence of that?), but then wonders, "What else would I do? Who else would I be?" She's realized her dream job kind of sucks, but has mentally trapped herself there. Saddened by hearing that, BoJack offers her the best comfort he possibly can:

"I do love you, by the way. I mean, as much as I'm capable of loving anyone. Which is never enough. I'm sorry."

It's a bittersweet moment that we've come to know all too well from this show. Princess Carolyn's touched by the vulnerability and starts to say genuinely nice things to BoJack, particularly understanding that his rough-around-the-edges nature is understandable because of his terrible parents. She appreciates that he let her help him out, knowing what it meant to her, and BoJack tells her she's a good friend. Princess Carolyn then tries to spin the encounter into asking BoJack for an extra six months with her as his agent to try to turn it around.

BoJack's answer is a crushing, flat "no".

But why?

We were led by this episode to believe that these are two people who need each other. It's clear that each fills a significant void in the other's life. Does BoJack really still think after the events of the evening that a clean break is still the best course of action? Is this just another act of self-sabotage? Was BoJack just pushing away someone who's getting close to him as he so often does? Was that "no" really Ana talking?

Rarely does such a clear and concise answer leave so many questions.

Episode Grade: A

Bullet Points

• "I ordered a few feel-better pizzas to feel better. It did not work."

• The way Amy Sedaris reads, "Okay BoJack" in bed during the cold open was really, really sad.

• "Now let us bow our heads and bray. HEE HAWWW HEE HAWW!!!"

• "You, sir, have just cut off your nose and thrown Sprite in your face!

• My favorite laugh-out loud moment of the episode was with the random guy sitting at the bar between BoJack and Princess Carolyn during their argument.
• "Hey, listen, man. I don't wanna get in the middle of this, it's none of my business, but I just have to say I love that sweater.  Can you give it to me?" 
• "What? No."
• "I held my mouth open a really long time."
• "What does that have to do..."
• "You're not being fair, to me or Princess Katniss."
• "Who?"
• "Your friend. You've forgotten her already? Typical BoSchwack."

• "Is there a single woman you've worked with that you haven't tried to groggily thrust yourself into?" Kelsey immediately came to mind as a counterexample, albeit not a heterosexual one.

• "Who threw my cocaine in the champagne fountain?"

• The "critic" gives the restaurant 412 stars out of a possible one billion. The realization that she writes for "SamanthaGoesToRestaurants.tumblr.com" was amazing -- it felt like a slight nod to South Park's "You're Not Yelping" episode from last season in that everyone at the restaurant was freaking out about what some random online food blogger might say. The voice work on "Samantha" was also outstanding.